College Humor Does It Again

And this time they do it with history. In fact, they took the entire history of WWII, and dumbed it down to Facebook terms so now everyone can understand it.

It's sad that we've come to this.  And in a way, it does summarize our culture today. We learn nothing unless it's on Facebook, a blog, or in some other sort of over-entertaining but amazingly simplified fashion. While being hilarious (and it is), it speaks volumes. Really makes you wonder what the world is right now, and what its heading towards.

In the mean time, check it out here.

Just Dance! Another Great DWTS Lineup

"Dancing With The Stars" announced their lineup of celebrities for season 11 starting September 20th, and it's pretty well rounded. Allow me to rank the cast, in order of, well, my personal bias:

Chicks:

6.Margaret Cho...expect her to be eliminated early. Sorry

5.Bristol Palin...it's sad that Sarah Palin's knocked up daughter qualifies as a "star."

4.Jennifer Grey...the chick from Dirty Dancing (who's 50 now). The girls will vote for her.

3.Brandy...more of a singer than a dancer, but she should do well rehearsing.

2.Florence Henderson...Mrs. Brady? Wow! Let's see if the old lady can keep up.

1.Audrina Patridge...hot girl from MTV's "The Hills," good enough for the top ranking.

Dudes:

6.Michael Bolton...snooze alert, the 60 year old women will eat this guy up in voting.

5.Kyle Massey...the kid from the Disney Channel, he'll leave early since teens won't call in.

4.Kurt Warner...since he has no finesse or footwork in an NFL pocket, I doubt he's gonna pick up the cha-cha in 3 days.

3.David Hasselhoff...The Hoff is an automatic entertainer, sober or drunk. Fan favorite.

2.Rick Fox...Mr. Rico Suave of former NBA players, the former Laker and Celtic has the talent to win this season.

1.The Situation...are you kidding me? He fist pumps and grinds with chicks every night at the club, and knows how to work a crowd. The best contestant on the show

TS Favorite Emmy Winners

(by the way Fallon was a great host)

Here's some of my favorite winners from last night's award show. Personally, the Emmys and the Grammys are the best events:

Comedy Series: "Modern Family," ABC. This show is hilarious. Been watching since the pilot, and can't get enough of the jokes. Not since "Seinfeld" has a show been so true to what life is like. This ABC comedy has it all, inclduing the love of my life, Sofia Vergara.

Variety, Music or Comedy Series: "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central. Does Jon Stewart's Daily satire of the news of the world ever get old? Seemingly not.

Actor, Comedy Series: Jim Parsons, "The Big Bang Theory," CBS. Definitely the upset win of the night, but a great one. Jim plays "Sheldon" from the unheralded, underrated CBS sitcom "The Big Bang Theory." His nerdy, convoluted sense of humor makes me laugh, and even makes me feel smarter sometimes...

Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Betty White, "Saturday Night Live." Betty White rules. Enough said.

Doing Something Good

The title says it all. Sure, hip hop artist Jay "Young Jeezy" Jenkins spends a lot of time talking drugs and violence behind the microphone, but the bottom line is he's a normal guy that understands the world we live in. He took the time to get his priorities straight and hand out school supplies for unprivileged kids the other day. No great big announcement, no mega corporation promotion...just jumping out of the car and making sure the kids go to school with everything they need this fall. You have to respect that.
(NSFW - language only)

The Hangover on a roadtrip

If you put the movie The Hangover, one of the funniest movies to come out since Wedding Crashers, on a road trip, what would it be like?

Probably a lot like Due Date, the new comedy directed by Todd Phillips (The Hangover) and staring Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover) and Robert Downey Jr. And it looks fantastic from the trailer.

Another non-stop laugh fest, for sure!

Is Joaquin Phoenix Serious?

For those of you who don't know, "Walk the Line" star Joaquin Phoenix has basically gone off the radar (in a lot of ways) and he is trying to resurrect his celebrity status...in the form of a rap career. To answer your next question: yes, he does suck, but it seems like that hasn't stopped the powers that be from making a film out of it all. Here's the trailer for "I'm Still Here" about Phoenix's attempt to be a relevant musician. Good luck with that...

On Second Thought: "Cover Affairs" flops hard

Ok, first of all, I'm slow when I watch TV. I've finally watched the third episode of this series, after having thoroughly enjoying the premiere. But now, I've grown cold to USA's "Covert Affairs."

In fact, I'm in no rush to watch the fourth episode. The quick, witty banter and a script that actually made sense is long gone. Instead, we've been greeted with hormones, confusion, and stories that place Piper Perabo's Annie Walker into odd situations (and she uses her real name when dealing with a target. I mean, seriously? Don't CIA operatives know to use a cover name?!).

What probably sold me most on the writing going down hill is the end of the third episode. The Julia Suarez character is almost killed by her corrupt lover's henchman, but after seeing the lover get shot and killed, she can't get herself away from him. It's hard to believe that her immediate feeling after almost being killed, then seeing her lover be killed, is love and affection. Shouldn't she be torn? Shouldn't she feel like she wants to hate him, not love him? It just irked me the wrong way.

I probably will watch one more episode of Cover Affairs. If it keeps going downhill, then I'm going to be very upset.

Maybe I'll just watch the pilot over and over again.

Show Me The Money: How Much TV Stars are Worth

Drama actors:

Hugh Laurie (House) $400,000+
Christopher Meloni & Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: SVU) $395,000 (each)
David Caruso (CSI: Miami) $375,000
Marg Helgenberger (CSI) $375,000
Laurence Fishburne (CSI) $350,000
Jeffrey Donovan (Burn Notice) $200,000
Nathan Fillion (Castle) $100,000
Jon Hamm (Mad Men) $100,000
Alex O'Loughlin (Hawaii Five-0) $100,000

Talk show hosts:
Oprah Winfrey $315 million
Judge Judy Sheindlin $45 million
David Letterman (The Late Show) $28 million
Jay Leno (The Tonight Show) $25 million
Conan O'Brien (The Conan O'Brien Show) $10 million

Reality:
Ryan Seacrest (American Idol) $15 million
Joel McHale (The Soup) $2 million
Piers Morgan (America's Got Talent) $2 million
Kate Gosselin (Kate Plus Eight) $250,000 per episode
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi (Jersey Shore) $30,000 per episode

Comedy actors:
Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men) $1.25 million
Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men) $550,000
Dan Castellaneta and Julie Kavner (The Simpsons) $400,000
Tina Fey (30 Rock) $350,000
Jeremy Piven (Entourage) $350,000
Steve Carell (The Office) $297,000
Ed O'Neill (Modern Family) $100,000
Betty White (Hot in Cleveland) $75,000

News:
Matt Lauer (Today) $16 million +
Katie Couric (CBS) $15 million
Bill O'Reilly (Fox News) $10 million
Keith Olbermann (MSNBC) $7 million
Wolf Blitzer (CNN) $3 million

Could Be Worth Seeing!

Deniro and Edward Norton? Can't be a BAD movie, right? Here's the trailer for "Stone."